However, unless there is potential for abuse or other harmful interaction, children do best when they maintain relationships with both parents. By the end of these few decades, a number of members had doctrinally and physically separated themselves from the body of the Church because they continued to teach and practice plural marriage. Converts reactions varied, and for some the concept was difficult to accept. These included the lying about plural marriage, the apparent polyandrous marriages of [Page 61]Joseph Smith, the teenage wives of Joseph Smith, and the idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom. Also, provide long-term support. Of course, the teachings should be simple and matter-of-fact information such as mentioning in passing that early Church leaders like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, as well as other early members of the Church, were commanded by God to have more than one wife. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. Copyright 2023 Deseret News Publishing Company. But, on the other hand, the Church and its members will never be able to divorce themselves from historical plural marriage. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. Because of plural marriages inherent sexual implications, it is natural there would be some discomfort and embarrassment. For an excellent discussion about this pivotal time period, see Gregory L. Smith, Polygamy, Prophets, and Prevarication: Frequently and Rarely Asked Questions about the Initiation, Practice, and Cessation of Plural Marriage in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, FAIR, 2005, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/publications/polygamy-prophets-and-prevarication. Because of financial concerns and the blow to their ego, some men experience challenges like depression, weight gain, experimenting with alcohol, and becoming less active in the Church. 61. The following article originally ran on LDS Living in May 2016. Well, I replied, perhaps a little too sarcastically, we wouldnt want them to do that., [Page 58]No, she answered. Here are some suggestions that might help members avoid the potential negative impact of the Churchs plural marriage heritage.63 Members need to be taught the full history of the Church, including plural marriage from Joseph Smith into the 20th century. From the 1840s to the present, anti-Mormon literature has accused Church leaders and members of immorality and lasciviousness, [Page 48]with suggestions that Joseph Smith started plural marriage to cover-up his own adulterous affairs.6 The 1840s saw some early purveyors of the lustful and lascivious stereotype in the supposed insider exposs of John C. Bennett and the Van Dusens.7 Ironically, some of these clichd stereotypes are still being used today. The place is easya Church setting in which accurate information may be taught in programs such as Primary, Sunday School, and Seminary. Copy in authors possession. Many survey respondents noted that they felt most accepted and supported by nonmembers because they were not judgmental and there is less of a stigma around divorce in the outside world. Jeffs, in a way, is practicing what Joseph practiced. Elder Baxter later served two years as a missionary in theScotland Edinburgh Mission and served as abishop, counselor in a stake presidency, stake president, counselor in a mission presidency, and as an Area Seventy. Church leaders were instructed to read the letter in LDS sacrament meetings. He married his wife,Dianne Marie Lewars, and has four children. [Page 72]If missionaries, as well as other members of the Church, are given more information to gain a better understanding and firmer foundation regarding the history and doctrine of plural marriage, they might not be so uncomfortable discussing it with non-Mormons. However, Elder Baxter's family situation was still difficult. have and continued to pray that one day his father would be baptized and his family would be sealed in the temple. In preparation for this essay, I conducted an unscientific online survey of attitudes about plural marriage among current and former members of the LDS Church. The Salt Lake Tribune reviewed the party affiliation of all 15 apostles for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints including the three-member First WebFor Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. Nate Oman on Jeffs, August 25, 2011. The Relationship of Joseph Smith and Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy: Joseph Smith and the Origins of Mormon Polygamy, eds. He explained that he was not troubled by the knowledge as the Church was a restoration of all things. Therefore, leadership at different levels could decide what and where to teach its members, as well as who might be the most knowledgeable and able to teach such sensitive matters.66. 28. Craig L. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic: Latter-day Saints and Popular Polygamy Stereotypes, Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf. There were 400 respondents, with a little over half being male. Unfortunately, such an outcome is not the case for Latter-day Saints and their polygamous history. If you are divorced, here are some ways to stay close to your children and strong in the gospel. Brigham Young might have done that, but Joseph Smith never would. I let the subject drop. Copy in authors possession. All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement. While 57% of respondents said their feelings were neutral toward polygamy when they first became aware of it, over a quarter of the respondents reactions were unfavorable to very unfavorable. Excommunication in Mormonism As the discussion grew heated, one group member observed in a private e-mail to another, Most of those who did not agree with the reinterpretation of whether or not plural marriagewill be practiced in the Celestial Kingdomhave been hammered into submissive silence by louder voices and the powers that be.59 Near the end of the online discussion, one of the men answered a woman who adamantly expressed her belief that plural marriage would not be a requirement or even a possibility in the celestial kingdom. Meet the Apostles Copy in authors possession. John Kitzmiller, personal interview, October 13, 2011. Members should learn that one practices plural marriage only when God commands it through his prophets, and we are following the prophet by not presently practicing it. Valerie Hudson, A Reconciliation of Polygamy, presentation at the 2011 FAIR Conference, notes in possession of author. ), 63% continued going to church in the same ward, 16% continued going but went to a new ward, Many ward members avoided me like the plague because they simply didn't know what to say to me.