On the flip side, you can also make the most gains when you fix this issue. Here's What To Do If Your Partner Always Gets Defensive MarriageMediator | Founder, Relationship Resolution Center | Author, Desirable Men: How to Find Them. And a conversation (typically unarticulated) about the state of our relationship. By diffusing your own reaction, you have a better shot at having a more fruitful conversation about the situation. Marriage is about communication, compromise, and working together. Sometimes our comments are thestartof an argument because when it feels like a person is being criticized, itactivatestheir defensivenessthey feel like they have to defend themselves against our attacks. 11 Reasons Your Husband Takes Everything As Criticism Inviting them to choose to be a part of the relationship inmeaningfulways is better. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. Get clear on your why and work to understand youruniqueinterpersonal and relationship needs. Try to find out everything you can about those criticisms and why they are there for your partner. Many of us may mean well but are coming across different than we intend to. If he takes it the wrong way, then you cant change how he reacts. You can say the right words, but the atmospherethe energy vibration in that relationshipcan be very toxic and negative. If its less than five positive to one negative statement,fix it. Lastly, soften your start-up or use aMary Poppins spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down approach: may serve tosoftenthe blow of some constructive language. I no longer hear him say that. "Tell them you feel anxious, trapped, burdened, worried, alone, ignored, invisible . If you are fighting fair in terms of using complaints for criticism, then perhaps its time toeducateyour spouse. When the limbic system is in control, it can basically cause us to have anemotional breakdownor evena tantrum(yes, even adults). husband takes everything as criticism Do you find that you can never have a conversation with your husband that doesnt end in conflict? If there is any tone ofcontempt, his reaction will be evenstronger. He detaches emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury. Or an unexpected phone call to say hello. Another valuable skill is learning how to showempathy. Many middle children feel this way because they think their parents, teachers, and other adults compare them to their older siblings. The investment promised high returns, but Rebecca believed that if it sounded too good to be true, it is. He's overly sensitive. For example, when you find out that hes not doing his best with household duties, ask him to make more of an effort like this: Honey, I really appreciate you cleaning out the garage. 15 Critical Spouse Signs and How to Deal With It